“What are your personal anchors — people, things, places, or rituals — that keep you connected to yourself, your sense of well-being, and your feelings?  What makes you feel secure in the world?  Who or what can you count on for support?  Make a list of these anchors so you can access them when you feel stranded and unsure.”

As a career success coach, I suggest surrounding yourself with positive people as a way to building your self confidence and career success.  Gail’s quote above comes from her Walk the Talk book The Power of Positive Choices.  And she’s right.  Positive people — as well as things, places and rituals – are there for you when things get a little tough or a little crazy.  Earlier this week, I did a post on the importance of having positive people in your life.

Today, I’d like to focus on the importance of positive things, places and rituals.

My home, whether it was a room in a house that I shared with eight other people when I was a student at Penn State, a 400 square foot studio apartment in Greenwich Village, or a house I owned when I was single has always been my refuge.  When I was single, my dates were always impressed with where I lived.  Most of them would say something like “This is the nicest guy’s apartment I’ve ever seen.”  That’s because I wanted my living quarters to be special, some place where I would feel comfortable and relaxed.  This wasn’t too difficult for me – as long as I had my books, my music and some art I liked on the walls, I was comfortable and relaxed.

I’ve been lucky.  Cathy and I have a very comfortable home that is decorated very nicely.  We share the same tastes, and she really has an eye.  I love being in our house.  It is warm and inviting – a very positive place.  My refuge however, is my office.  It has a wall of books, two computers and a really comfortable mission style easy chair.  I have great artwork – a couple of bicycling posters, several rugby posters, two mystery novel posters, The Optimist Creed and Paul Meyer’s career success quote hanging on the walls.  The art work reminds me of the things I love to do – bicycle, read and play rugby and think and write about career success.  I also have a collection of name badges and lanyards from conferences where I was a speaker or facilitator hanging on the door knob.  These badges remind me of past successes.

My office is a very positive place for me.  I like being there.  I feel as if I am surrounded by things I love.  Take it from a career success coach.  It’s really easy to work hard and be productive when you’re surrounded by the things you love.  It’s a little messy – but that’s OK.  I kind of like the mess.  It makes me feel as if I am busy doing lots of interesting things.  Cathy hates the mess by the way; but that’s a different story.

Books are positive things for me.  I love books and have an extensive library; work books, novels and history.  They are a visible reminder that I have an inquisitive mind and am always learning.  I am probably going to have to weed out some of my collection to make way for new ones as the four floor to ceiling book shelves we have in our house are full, overflowing even.

What do you love?  What are your positive things?  Cathy has a great collection of hand painted Herend figurines from Hungary.  I think everybody’s home should have some things – not necessarily expensive – that give you great joy when you look at them.

Finally, there are rituals.  Blogging is one of my biggest rituals.  No matter where I am, I begin my day by blogging.  I do this because I want to stay on top of my game as a career success coach.  My blogging ritual has helped me gain an ever deepening understanding of what it takes to become a career success.  The more I know and understand about career success, the better a career success coach I become.

The other day I traveled to New York.  I arrive at my hotel around 1:00 in the morning.  Still, I set my alarm for 6:00 so I could post my blog before I showered, dressed and went off to an 8:00 meeting.  I usually write my posts a day or two in advance, but I post every morning.  This gives me an opportunity to review and edit the post.  More important, I get a feeling of satisfaction from beginning my day by reading the positive message I’ve written and then sharing it with the world. 

The common sense point here is simple.  Successful people are self confident.  Self confident people surround themselves with positive people.  In The Power of Positive Choices, Gail McMeekin suggests that surrounding yourself with positive people is not enough.  She suggests that you also create a refuge for yourself, a positive place with things you love and in which you engage in rituals that help you develop more fully and put you on the road to career success.  I agree.  What is your special place?  What are your special things?  They can be as simple as my collection of name badges from conferences where I’ve spoken.  What are the rituals that add meaning to your life and provide a refuge when things get tough.  If you don’t have a special place, things or rituals in your life, take it from a career success coach and get some.  You’ll be glad you did.

That’s my take on special places, things and rituals and career success.  What’s yours?  Please take a few minutes to leave a comment sharing your special places, things and rituals with us.  As always, thanks for reading.

Bud

“Every great mistake has a half way moment, a splt second when it can be recalled and perhaps remedied.”

As a career success coach, I read that and said, “Wow!”

I tell my career success coaching clients that stuff is going to happen as you go through life – some of it unpleasant.  I also advise them that it’s not the stuff that happens that’s important.  How you react to the stuff that happens is what’s important.  I think this is particularly true when it comes to brand building.  It takes a long time to build a great brand and only a minute to destroy it. 

Serena Williams is a good example.  I am a big Serena fan.  I love her grit and determination.  She never quits.  However, her brand took a big hit last summer at the US Open.  If you’re not a tennis fan, here is a recap of what happened.  Serena was down one set to love and four games to five in her semi final match to Kim Clijsters.  She was serving at 15 – 30.  The lines judge called a foot fault against her, taking the score to 15 – 40, one point away from losing the match.  A foot fault is a rare call, and one that is hardly ever made in crucial situations.  In this case, it also was an incorrect call, the replay showed that Serena had not foot faulted.

Serena was clearly upset about the call.  However she seemed to gather herself and get ready to serve again.  I was thinking, “Good for you, Serena.  You’re not going to let a bad call take you out of your game.”

Then disaster struck.  Serena backed away from the service line and approached the lines judge, holding the ball in front of her and screaming that she was “Going to take this f***ing ball and f***ing shove it down your f***ing throat.”

The umpire called the lines judge over, and asked is Serena had threatened her.  She said, “Yes.”  As a result, Serena was docked a point.  However, it was a huge point.  The foot fault made it 15 – 40, the point she was docked gave the game, set and match to Clijsters.

I tell the story here because of Pearl Buck’s quote.  Serena made a great mistake.  And there was a half way moment when she could have avoided it.  In fact, she seemed to have made it successfully through that moment.  Then she lost it and confronted the lines judge.  It seemed to me almost as if she said to herself, “To hell with it, I can’t let her get away with such a terrible call.”

Instead of recalling the mistake, she went right on ahead and made it – seemingly knowing what she was doing.  That was too bad.  She lost the match and the opportunity to defend her title.  And, she did some real harm to her brand.

As you go through life, you’ll encounter some foot fault moments.  I know I do.  As a career success coach, I urge you to take full advantage of that split second moment when you can stop yourself from making a mistake that will damage your brand, or your relationship with an important person.  Slow things down.  Don’t let your anger get the better of you.  Choose to do the smart thing.  Because after all, what happens isn’t what’s important.  How you react to what happens is.

The common sense point here is simple.  Successful people build and nurture their unique personal brands, and they build and nurture relationships with important people in their lives.  Pearl Buck suggests that “Every great mistake has a half way moment, a split second when it can be recalled and perhaps remedied.”  When bad things and things that make you angry happen, remember these words.  Don’t do damage to your brand or your relationships.  Slow down, take a deep breath, think about what you’re doing.  Take it from a career success coach, this might help you avoid letting your anger get the better of you.  It might help you take advantage of that split second when you can recall and remedy a mistake you are about to make.

That’s my take on how to take advantage of the split second when you can remedy a mistake you are about to make.  What’s yours?  Please take a few minutes to leave a comment sharing your thoughts with us.  As always, thanks for reading.

Bud

When I get concerned and distracted, it is difficult for me to concentrate on my work.  When I have difficulty concentrating, I always turn to a little book I have sitting on the bookshelf on my desk.  It’s called The Portable DO IT!  I love this little book because I often find the inspiration I need to just do it.  It also helps me find the inspiration I need in my work as a career success coach.

Today I opened The Portable DO IT! to a random page and this is what I read…

117 – Keep your goals away from the trolls. 

118 – People don’t like to see others pursuing their dreams – it reminds them how far from living their dreams they are.  In talking you out of our dreams, they are talking themselves back into their comfort zone.  They will give you every rational lie they ever gave themselves.

These two pieces of advice were accompanied by a quote from the Bible, Matthew 7:6…

“Give not which is holy unto the dogs, neither cast your pearls before swine, lest they trample them under their feet, and turn again and rend you.”

As a career success coach, I like this advice.  Self confidence is one of the four keys to success that make up my Career Success GPS System.  If you want to become self confident you need to do three things.  First, choose optimism.  Believe that today will be better than yesterday and that tomorrow will be better than today.  Second, face your fears and act.  Fear is the enemy of self confidence.  It often manifests itself as procrastination.  Self confident people are not afraid of failing.  They act.  Third, surround yourself with positive people.  Jettison the nay sayers in your life.

Surrounding yourself with positive people is the point of # 117 and # 118 in The Portable DO IT!  Unlike negative people who will tell you a million reasons why you can’t achieve something, positive people will be excited for you and your goals.  They will ask what they can do to help.  Their enthusiasm will help you when you encounter the occasional rough spot in the road.

As I write this, I’m reminded of a great passage I read in Sherman Alexie’s novel The Absolutely True Diary of a Part-Time Indian.  The protagonist is a young Native American boy who leaves the reservation to attend school in an all white school district.  Check it out…

“Something magical happened to me when I went to Reardon.  Overnight I became a good player.

“I suppose it had something to do with confidence.  In Reardon my coach and the other players wanted me to be good.  They needed me to be good.  They expected me to be good.  And so, I became good.

“I wanted to live up to expectations.  I guess that’s what it comes down to.  The power of expectations.  And as they expected more of me, I expected more of myself, and it just grew and grew until I was scoring twelve points a game – as a freshman.”

The coach wanted him to guard the other team’s best player in a very important game.

“‘Coach,’ I said, ‘I don’t think I can do it.’  He walked over to me, kneeled, and pushed his forehead against mine.  Our eyes were like an inch apart.  I could smell cigarettes and chocolate on his breath.

“‘You can do it,’ Coach said.  ‘You can do it,” Coach said again.  He didn’t shout it.  He whispered it, like a prayer.  And he kept whispering again.  Until the prayer turned into a song.  And then, for some magical reason, I believed him…

“‘I can do it,’ I said to Coach, to my teammates, to the world. 

“‘You can do it,’ Coach said, ‘I can do it.’  ‘You can do it.’  ‘I can do it.’

“Do you know how amazing it is to hear that from anybody?  It’s one of the simplest sentences in the world, just four words, but they’re the four hugest words in the world when they’re put together.

“‘You can do it.’

“‘I can do it.’

“‘Let’s do it…”

As I read those words, I could see that locker room and feel the excitement – not only on Coach’s part, and the part of the young Native American, but the entire team.  We all need people like Coach in our lives.  That’s why it’s so important to surround yourself with positive people.  When you find people who believe in you and tell you “you can do it” you begin to believe in yourself.

As Sherman Alexie says, “I wanted to live up to expectations.  I guess that’s what it comes down to.  The power of expectations.  And as they expected more of me, I expected more of myself, and it just grew and grew…” 

The common sense point here is simple.  Successful people are self confident.  Self confident people surround themselves with positive people.  They hold the negative people in their lives at arm’s length.  They do not give things that are holy – their goals and dreams — to the dogs; nor do they cast their pearls before swine.  They share what’s holy to them with positive, supportive people.  Positive people will expect a lot of you, and from you.  These expectations will help you become a more confident person.  Take it from a career success coach.  Never underestimate the power of positive people.  They will help build your confidence and get you on the path to personal and professional success.  Befriend all the positive people you can.  Hold them close.  Treasure them and their friendship.  They will help you achieve your dreams.

That’s my take on positive people and self confidence.  What’s yours?  Please take a few minutes to leave a comment sharing your thoughts with us.  As always, thanks for reading.

Bud

But as a career success coach, I’m always looking for messages that relate to my message on career success.  I found it near the end of the film.  If you’ve read Alice in Wonderland, you know that the White Queen tells her “Some days I believe in six impossible things before breakfast.”  I don’t want to spoil the end of the film for you, but in this version Alice has to do battle with the Red Queen’s Jabberwocky, a very fearsome character.  As she prepares to fight the creature, she lists out loud six impossible things in which she believes.  The last is, “I will slay the Jabberwocky.”  Because this is a fairy tale and the good guys always win in fairy tales, I don’t think I’m giving anything away by telling you that she succeeds.  Alice slays the Jabberwocky – in pretty dramatic fashion.

There is a career success point here.  We all have our personal Jabberwockies – things we think we can’t do, things that scare us.   Sometimes these things scare us so much we don’t even try. 

Self confidence is one of the four keys to career success that make up my Career Success GPS System.  Self confident people share three traits in common: they are optimistic, they face their fears and act, and they surround themselves with positive people. 

In my forthcoming book Career Success GPS, I mention that fear is the enemy of self confidence.  Think of your fears as your personal Jabberwockies.  As a career success coach, I tell my clients that procrastination is the manifestation of fear.   When I find myself procrastinating, I stop and ask myself “What are you afraid of here, Bud?”

Usually, the answer is one of the 12 most common fears on the list below.  Which of these stop you from moving forward?   What are you doing about them?

1. Fear of failure – This type of fear has its roots in the misconception that everything you do has to be 100% successful.
2. Fear of success – This type of fear is based on the idea that success is likely to mean more responsibility and attention, coupled with pressure to continue to perform at a high level.
3. Fear of being judged – This type of fear comes from the need for approval that most people develop in childhood.
4. Fear of emotional pain – This type of fear is rooted in wanting to avoid potential negative consequences of your actions.
5. Fear of embarrassment – This type of fear is a result of empowering others to judge you when you demonstrate that you’re only human by making mistakes and having lapses of judgment.
6. Fear of being abandoned or being alone – This type of fear is related to rejection and low self esteem.
7. Fear of rejection – This type of fear comes from personalizing what others do and say.
8. Fear of expressing your true feelings – This type of fear holds you back from engaging in open, honest dialogue with the people in your life.
9. Fear of intimacy – This type of fear manifests itself by an unwillingness to let others get too close, less they discover the “real you.”
10. Fear of the unknown – This type of fear manifests itself as needless worry about all of the bad things that could happen if you decide to make a change in your life.
11. Fear of loss – This type of fear is related to the potential pain associated with no longer having something or someone of emotional significance to you.
12. Fear of death – The ultimate fear of the unknown.  What will happen once our spirits leave our bodies?

By identifying your fear, you are more than half way to conquering it. 

Here are my best tips for doing battle with your fears and slaying your personal Jabberwockies. 

Identify what you fear.  Figure out why you’re afraid. Is it fear of failure?  Is it fear of making the wrong decision?  Is it fear of a lost opportunity?  Are you afraid that you aren’t up to task?  Once you identify the reason behind your fear, you are well on the way to overcoming it.

Admit your fears.  It’s OK to be afraid. You wouldn’t be human if you were never afraid. A common definition of courage is the ability to feel fear and still do what you need to do regardless. In 1988, I faced a very frightening decision. Should I stay in a comfortable but ultimately unsatisfying job with a large corporation, or should I start my own business?  I was afraid of failing. Failing meant that I would lose my savings and have to start over again, looking for a job in another corporation. However, once I identified and admitted my fear, I was able to take the next step – acceptance.

Accept your fears.  Accepting your fears is important, because it shows that you know you’re human. Once I accepted that I was afraid of failing, I was able to start my business and succeed. In fact, I embraced my fear of failure. It made me work harder; it pushed me to work the long hours and learn the entrepreneurship lessons necessary to be successful as a self employed coach, consultant and speaker.

Take action.  Action cures fear.  It is the most important of these four steps. Do something! The worst thing that can happen is that you’ll find it was the wrong thing to do – and you will have eliminated at least one thing from your list of possible actions.

The common sense point here is simple.  Successful people are self confident.  Self confident people face their fears and act.  Action is the antidote to fear.   In the newly released 3D version of Alice in Wonderland, Alice was afraid, but she picked up her sword and did battle with the fearsome Jabberwocky.  You need to do the same.  In most cases, just like Alice you’ll succeed and your fears won’t be realized. In the cases where things don’t work out, you’ll find that failure isn’t as catastrophic as you imagined. Successful people learn from their failures. Take it from an old career success coach, by taking action on your fears, by doing battle with your personal Jabberwocky’s, you win on both counts. You win if you make good decisions and things work out. You even win if you make a bad decision and things go poorly, because you have an opportunity to learn from your actions and the subsequent problems you faced.

That’s my take on Alice in Wonderland and facing your fears.  What’s yours?  Please take a moment to leave a comment sharing your thoughts.  As always, thanks for reading.  And, keep slaying those Jabberwockies.

Bud

Chapter 10 is titled, “Practice Unselfish Thinking.”  Relationship building is one of the success competencies in my Career Success GPS System.  I always advise my career success coaching clients to pay it forward when it comes to relationship building – to give with no expectation of return.  This is what John Maxwell is talking about when he encourages us to practice unselfish thinking.

He says that unselfish thinking…

• Brings personal fulfillment.
• Adds value to others.
• Encourages your other virtues.
• Increases quality of life – yours and others.
• Makes you a part of something greater than yourself.
• Creates a legacy.

I agree.  When you practice unselfish thinking you are paying it forward, and increasing the quality of your life of those around you.

John goes on to describe how to practice unselfish thinking…

• Put others first.
• Expose yourself to situations where people have needs.
• Give quietly or anonymously.
• Invest in people intentionally.
• Continually check your motives.

I really liked one passage in the chapter on unselfish thinking…

As you go into any relationship, think about how you can invest in the other person so it becomes a win-win situation.  Here is how relationships most often play out:

I win, you lose – I win only once.
You win, I lose – You win only once.
We both win – We win many times.
We both lose – Goodbye relationship.

The best relationships are win-win.  Why don’t more people go into relationships with that attitude?  I’ll tell you why.  Most people want to make sure they win first.   Unselfish thinkers, on the other hand, go into a relationship and make sure that the other person wins first.  And that makes all the difference.

This is exactly what I’m talking about when I tell my career success coaching clients to pay it forward. 

I am a contributor to a book called 42 Rules for Creating WE.  One of the rules I contributed is “There is No Quid Pro Quo in WE.”  Here is some of what I have to say in that chapter…

This is a quid pro quo world: you do for me and I’ll do for you.  While there is nothing wrong in reciprocating a good deed or a favor, there is a fundamental problem with quid pro quo.  It is reactive not proactive.  Too many people wait for others to go first.  They adopt the attitude, “When and if you do for me, I’ll do for you.”  This scarcity mentality is not conducive to creating WE.  When you come from a scarcity mentality, you focus on holding on to what you already have.  This can prevent you from receiving what you might possibly get.

On the other hand, giving with no expectation of return comes from a proactive abundance mentality.  When you give with no expectation of return, you are acknowledging the abundance of the universe.  You are demonstrating faith that the good you do will benefit others close to you and the world at large – and that good things will come back to you.

Giving with no expectation of return is ironic.  I have found that the more I give, the more I receive; often from unlikely sources.  But that’s not my reason for giving — and I hope it is not yours.  The best reason for giving is the basic joy of making a difference in other people’s lives and in creating a WE-centric world.

In the end, giving with no expectation of return comes down to your mentality – scarcity or abundance.  If you come from a scarcity mentality, you will live by quid pro quo, and perpetuate the I-centric status quo.  If you come from an abundance mentality, you will give with no expectation of return and begin to create a WE-centric world.

I choose abundance and to take an active part in creating a WE-centric paradigm in my circle of influence.  I agree with Winston Churchill who once said, “We make a living by what we get, we make a life by what we give.”  When you give with no expectation of return you will get a good life.  You’ll also get a better world; one in which we all look out for one another.

I think John Maxwell would agree with that.

The common sense point here is simple.  Successful people are competent in four key areas: creating positive personal impact, outstanding performance, communication skills and relationship building.  As a career success coach, I believe that you build strong relationships by doing three things.  First, get to know yourself.  Use this knowledge to better understand others.  Second, pay it forward.  Or as John Maxwell says, practice unselfish thinking.  Third, resolve conflict in a manner that strengthens, rather than weakens your relationships.  Take it from a career success coach, if you practice all three of these ideas you will not only build strong, mutually beneficial relationships with the people in your life, you’ll be on your way to creating the career success you want and deserve.

That’s my take on unselfish thinking and success.  What’s yours?  Please take a minute to act unselfishly and leave a comment sharing your thoughts with us.  As always, thanks for reading.

Bud

The only thing you’ve got going for you as a human being is your ability to reason and your common sense.  If you don’t know a dip of horse manure from a dip of vanilla ice cream, you’ll never make it.

I love this advice.  It really resonates with me.  As you know, I am not only a career success coach, I am The Common Sense Guy. 

We are all born with five senses: sight, sound, touch, taste and smell.  These senses help us navigate our way through the world.  They bring us delight in small things: the turning of the leaves in autumn, an Eric Clapton guitar lick – or depending on your taste, a Yitzhak Perlman violin piece, the warmth of the sun on your face on the first day of spring, your favorite birthday dinner that your mom always made, the smell of warm bread baking.  They also warn us when danger threatens: lightning in the sky, a police or fire siren, a hot barbeque grill, food that is spoiled and not safe to eat, the odor that is added to natural gas.

However, I believe that we all have a sixth, and underused sense, our common sense.  Your common sense will help you make the right decision in ambiguous situations – but only if you use it.  When I tell people that I’m the Common Sense Guy, people often come back with the old saying, “Common sense isn’t all that common.”  I disagree.  I think that we all have innate common sense.  It’s a natural gift, just like our five other senses.  We don’t always use it though.

Noetics is emerging science.  The word “noetic” comes from the ancient Greek nous.  It refers to ‘inner knowing,’ a kind of intuitive knowledge beyond what is available to our normal senses.  Noetics is the exploration of the nature and potentials of consciousness using multiple ways of knowing — including intuition, feeling, reason, and the senses.  Common sense is a type of noetics.  It is an inner knowing of what to do in any given situation.

Thomas Edison once said “Many people miss opportunity because it comes dressed up in overalls and looks like work.”  I believe that most people know what to do in most situations, their common sense tells them.  However, many people often don’t do what their common sense says for a number of reasons, most of them bad… “it’s too difficult and not worth the effort,” “it takes too much time,” “so and so might get upset with me,” “I don’t know if I can do it.” 

It seems as if there are as many reasons for not using your common sense as there are people in the world.   That’s why it seems that so many people can’t tell “a dip of horse manure from a dip of vanilla ice cream.”

Common sense can help you simplify the complex.  Most people find the topic of career success to be incredibly complex.  Where do I start?  What should I do?  How do I find a good job?  How can I position myself for a promotion?  How can I avoid getting laid off?

As a career success coach, I help people find the answers to these questions every day.  I created my Career Success GPS System to help other people who I don’t coach. 

As a career success coach, I always tell my clients that if they want to become a career success they need to take four common sense actions:

• Clarify your purpose and direction in your life.
• Commit to taking personal responsibility for your success.
• Build unshakeable self confidence.
• Get competent in four areas: creating positive personal impact, outstanding performance, communication skills and relationship building.

I have put together a 90 minute DVD explaining these four actions and my Career Success GPS System.  You can get a free digital copy of it by going to www.CareerSuccessDVD.com.

But remember, all of these actions take work.  I occasionally run into people who tell me that they involve too much work.  These people want shortcuts to career success.  Unfortunately, there are no shortcuts to career success.  Common sense says that you have to work at it.  As one of my first mentors told me, “The dictionary is the only place success comes before work.”

The common sense point here is simple.  In addition to our five senses of touch, taste, sight, sound and smell, we have a sixth sense – common sense.  Common sense works; but only if you use it.  It can help you simplify the complex and make good decisions.  Charlie Beacham, one of Lee Iacocca’s first mentors told him, “The only thing you’ve got going for you as a human being is your ability to reason and your common sense.  If you don’t know a dip of horse manure from a dip of vanilla ice cream, you’ll never make it.”  That’s pretty colorful language, but it’s true.  Use your sixth sense; your common sense.  Do what it tells you – even if it means work.  Applying your common sense is a great way to create the career success you want and deserve.

That’s my take on the difference between a dip of horse manure and a dip of vanilla ice cream.  What’s yours?  Please take a minute to leave a comment sharing your thoughts with us.  Better yet, please share the best common sense advice you’ve ever received.  As always, thanks for reading.

Bud

The other day, I got a note from Bill Baer, a friend and coach of the Denver East High School Rugby Club, the reigning Colorado High Schools Rugby State Champions.  Since rugby is a club sport, it is funded by the players, their parents and coaches and donations from supporters.  I sent them a check to help fund this Spring’s season.

In his request for funds, Bill included the following…

You may not know much about rugby, but you know the value of courage, respect, honesty, commitment, team and hard work.  You know how important positive peer pressure and good role models are to teenagers.  You may not have thought of rugby as a means to building character in teenaged boys, but that is what East High Boys Rugby is all about.  Our club teaches rugby as a metaphor for life where courage, respect, honesty, commitment, team and hard work make the difference.

That’s a mouthful, and something worth repeating.  As a career success coach, I’m often asked, “Bud what does it take to succeed in my life and career?”  My answer is simple.  You have to do four things:

• Clarify your purpose and direction in your life.
• Commit to taking personal responsibility for your success.
• Build unshakeable self confidence.
• Get competent in four areas: creating positive personal impact, outstanding performance, communication skills and relationship building.

Bill Baer is giving the young men of the Denver East High School Rugby Club lessons in self confidence.  His lessons involve “courage, respect, honesty, commitment, team and hard work.”  Bill and I have much the same message; me to my career success coaching clients, Bill to his young rugby players.

Bill is a great mentor to these young men.  He helps build the self confidence they will need to succeed in their lives and careers.  I believe that you need to do three things to build your self confidence.   First, choose optimism, believe that today will be better than yesterday and that tomorrow will be better than today.  Second, face your fears and act.  Third, surround yourself with positive people. 

To my way of thinking, mentors are very positive people because they are willing to give of themselves to help others succeed.  That’s what Bill Baer is doing for the young men of the Denver East High School Rugby Club.  His alumni are playing in colleges all over the country.  He mentioned to me recently that two Denver East alums played against one another in a recent Syracuse vs. Harvard match.

Here’s what to look for in a mentor.  A good mentor…

M   Motivates you to accomplish more than you think you can.

E   Expects the best from you.

N   Never gives up on you or lets you give up on yourself.

T   Tells you the truth – even when it hurts.

O  Occasionally kicks your butt.

R   Really cares about you and your success.

That’s what Bill Baer is doing for the young men of the Denver East High School Rugby Club.  He teaches them how to play a wonderful, fun game.  More important, he teaches them courage, respect, honesty, commitment, team and hard work.  You go, Bill.  As we say on the rugby pitch, I’m “with you.”

The common sense point here is simple.  Successful people are self confident.  Self confident people are optimistic.  They face their fears and act.  And they surround themselves with positive people.  Mentors, by definition, are positive people.  Take it from this career success coach, if you don’t have a mentor, find one.  He or she can help guide you through the ups and downs you will encounter on your way to career success.  And, don’t forget it’s never too early to become a mentor yourself.  Pay it forward by sharing the life lessons you’ve learned with others who need and want the knowledge and wisdom you have gathered in your life.  My friend Bill Baer mentors lots of young men in his role as the Denver East High School Rugby Club Coach.  He teaches them courage, respect, honesty, commitment, team and hard work – important life lessons and the kinds of characteristics that lead to career success.

That’s my take on Denver East High Rugby, self confidence, charater and success.  What’s yours?  Please take a few minutes and leave a comment sharing your thoughts with us.  As always, thanks for reading.

Bud

I’m always telling my clients that if they want to create positive personal impact, they need to do three things: 1) create, build and nurture their personal brand; 2) dress for success; and 3) know and follow the basic rules of etiquette.

Today I want to tell you a story about a guy who I know who has built a powerful personal brand from the ground up in about 15 months.  His name is Jason Sadler and his brand is “I Wear Your Shirt.”  In late 2008, Jason decided to cash in on his knowledge of social media.  He created a unique offer.  To help companies promote their products he would wear their T shirt for a day.  He would blog about the company and their products and do a live video feed about them over the course of the day.  He would tweet and do face book posts about the shirt he was wearing that day.

He priced his offering in a unique manner too.  If he wore you shirt on January 1, you paid a dollar.  If he wore it on January 20, you paid $20.  If he wore it on December 31, you paid $365.  In other words, his pricing began at one dollar on January 1 and went up a dollar every day until the last day of the year.

Things took off for Jason.  He sold out every day in 2009 and has only a few days left in 2010.  He added a partner, Evan White in 2010.  So now pricing goes up in two dollar increments.  Companies advertising with Jason and Evan pay $2 on January 1 and $730 on December 31.  If you go to the I Wear Your Shirt Website, and click on the “press” button, you’ll see that Jason has been featured on the CBS Evening News with Katie Couric, ABC News with Charles Gibson, the Boston Globe, the New York Times, Chicago Tribune, Wall Street Journal and a whole lot of other big media outlets. 

I bought a day in 2009 and two days in 2010.  Here is a link to all of the things Jason did for me on Friday February 26, the first of my 2010 days; http://tinyurl.com/BuyBudsBook.  I was promoting my book 42 Rules to Jumpstart Your Professional Success. 

Jason has followed the two basic building blocks of any strong personal brand. 

1. Decide how you want people to think of you.
2. Consistently and constantly act in a manner that will cause people to think of you that way.

Jason decided he wanted people to think of him as the guy who promotes businesses by wearing their T shirts.  Then, he consistently and constantly stays on brand.  Every day, he promotes not only the company whose shirt he is wearing, he also promotes the I Wear Your Shirt brand.  This is a win-win for Jason and his advertisers.  There is a certain amount of “cool” associated with having Jason wear your shirt.  I found that out when I saw the number of tweets that mentioned me on the days Jason has worn my shirts. 

Jason and Evan rock.  On Friday, I sold lots of books due to his efforts and I got almost 50 new subscribers to my ezine and daily success quotes.  By the way, if you’re not subscribed, you can do so at my website, www.BudBilanich.com.  This is probably a good time to mention that I am donating all of my royalties from sales of 42 Rules to Jumpstart Your Professional Success to the Be the STAR You Are Foundation, a charity that helps women, families and youth-at-risk through improved literacy and positive media. 

If you would like to help yourself – or one of your kids, or someone you manage, or someone you mentor — become a career success please buy a copy, or several copies to give away.  You can do so at Amazon.com or at www.42Rules.com.   Search for 42 Rules to Jumpstart Your Professional Success at either site, and you’ll be taken to the sales page for the book.   If you decide to buy a copy, go to http://www.budbilanich.com/42jumpstart/ and let me know that you did.  I will send you the eBook versions of two of my most popular books: Straight Talk for Success and I Want YOU…To Succeed.

The common sense point here is simple.  Successful people create positive personal impact by developing and nurturing their unique personal brands.  Brand building is simple in concept.  First, decide how you want people to think of you.  Then consistently and constantly act in a manner that will cause people to think of you that way.  Jason Sadler and his I Wear Your Shirt brand is a great example of these steps in action.  Jason, more than anyone I know, stays on brand consistently and constantly.  If you check out his website and get on his mailing list, you’ll see what I mean.  Jason is a great example of brand building in action.  Take it from a long time career success coach.  A strong personal brand that you reinforce consistently and constantly is an important step in creating the career success you want – and that you deserve. 

That’s my take on Jason Sadler and personal branding.  What’s yours?  Please take a minute to leave a comment sharing your thoughts with us.  As always, thanks for reading.

Bud

If you recall, at the opening ceremonies there was a problem with the torch lighting.  The cauldron was free standing, but there were four ornamental supports that were supposed to rise from the stadium floor to give the appearance of supporting it.  Well, only three of the supports actually rose, and there was a several minute delay in the proceedings while technicians tried to raise the fourth support.  They were not able to do so, so the torch was lit with only three of the four supports in place – a blunder that the entire world saw.

Last night, the closing ceremonies began with a mime climbing from the space in the floor where the fourth support was located.  He was dressed in overalls with a tool belt.  He acted as if he had just fixed the problem with the fourth support.  He then connected two large wires with a plug from which sparks flew — and the fourth support slowly began to rise from the floor of the arena and settled into place where it was supposed to have been on the first night.  The crowd applauded like mad.

As a career success coach, I said to myself, “There is a lesson here.”  And that lesson is simple common sense.  As you go through life you will run into some problems.  Sometimes you will be embarrassed.  When this happens, your ability to laugh at yourself is important.  Last night, the Vancouver Olympic Committee demonstrated this.  They took an embarrassing situation, and made light of it.  They were willing to laugh at themselves – in front of the whole world — and move forward.

Their actions reminded me of the seventh point of The Optimist Creed…

Promise yourself to forget the mistakes of the past and press on to the greater achievements of the future.

If you want to become a career success, you need to adopt this attitude too.  Mistakes, problems, frustrations, embarrassments are all part of life.  Sometimes, they are small in scope.  Sometimes they are whoppers seen by millions of people.  Regardless, they all provide a learning experience.  If you want to become a career success, you need to keep your sense of humor, learn from your mistakes and then move forward toward the career success you want and deserve.  That’s what The Optimist Creed suggests.  And that’s what I, as a career success coach, suggest too.  By the way, if you would like a copy of The Optimist Creed suitable for framing and hanging in your office go to http://BudBilanich.com/optimist and I’ll send you one.  My copy hangs just above my desk.  I read it every day as I’m beginning work.

The common sense point here is simple.  If you want to become a career success, you need to become self confident and optimistic.  Treat problems, setbacks and embarrassments as opportunities to learn and grow.  Learn from your mistakes; then put them behind you.  Move forward toward the career success you want and deserve.  The Vancouver Olympic Committee gave us a great example of this at the closing ceremonies.  They poked fun at themselves and their embarrassing moment at the opening ceremonies – and then moved forward with a great show.  Do the same, and you’ll be well on your way to becoming a career success.

That’s the take of a career success coach on learning from your mistakes and the Olympic closing ceremonies.  What’s yours?  Please take a minute to leave a comment sharing your thoughts with us.  As always, thanks for reading.

Bud

Unfortunately, no human relationship is without conflict.  That’s why you have to become adept at resolving conflict positively.

I know a little bit about conflict resolution.  It was the topic of my dissertation at Harvard.  Way back in the 1970’s Ken Thomas and Ralph Kilmann developed an instrument to measure a person’s tendencies when in a conflict situation.

They came up with five predominant conflict styles: Competing, Collaborating, Compromising, Accommodating and Avoiding.  Their research suggests that all five are appropriate depending on the situation.

As a career success coach however, I have found that the Collaborating style is your best default mode.  When you collaborate with others to resolve conflict, you focus on meeting both your needs and needs of the other person. I like this style because it helps you bring together a variety of viewpoints to get the best solution.

When you collaborate, neither person is likely to feel as if he or she won or lost.  Also, collaborating with the person or persons with whom you are in conflict creates the opportunity for you to work together to build a solution that best addresses everyone’s concerns.

I find that when I work collaboratively with someone, I focus on our similarities, not our differences.  This creates a bond that not only helps us get through our conflict, but helps us strengthen our relationship.

The common sense point here is simple.  Successful people build strong, positive, mutually beneficial relationships with the people in their lives.  No relationship is without conflict. That’s why it’s important to become adept at resolving conflict in a positive manner.  Collaboration is the best choice for handling most conflict situations.  When you collaborate with others – especially those with whom you are in conflict — you not only are likely to resolve your conflict in a positive manner, you will strengthen your relationship with the other person.  It’s a win-win.  Take it from a long time career success coach, collaboration – focusing on where you agree and building a solution together is the best way to resolve conflicts that can damage your relationships.

That’s my take on handling conflict productively.  What’s yours?  As always, I’m interested in your perspective on these thoughts.  I welcome and appreciate your comments.  Thanks for reading.

Bud