Competence is one of the four keys to career and life success in my Common Sense Success System. I also discuss it in some detail in several of my books: Straight Talk for Success; Your Success GPS; and 42 Rules to Jumpstart Your Professional Success. If you want to succeed you need to develop four basic, but important competencies: 1) creating positive personal impact; 2) becoming a consistently high performer; 3) dynamic communication skills; and 4) becoming interpersonally competent.
There are four key competencies that will help you become a career and life success:
- You have to be able to create positive personal impact.
- You have to be become an outstanding performer.
- You have to be a dynamic communicator – in conversation, writing and presentations.
- You have to build strong, lasting, mutually beneficial relationships with the important people in your life.
I’m at a meeting with my colleagues at the Creating WE Institute today. A WE attitude is a great way to build strong relationships with the important people in your life. Recently, I collaborated with several of my Creating WE Institute colleagues in creating a book called 42 Rules for Creating WE. It became an Amazon.com best seller.
One of my rules is “There is No Quid Pro Quo in WE”. Check it out…
WE is built on relationships; the idea that we are all connected, and that through a WE-centric, rather than a traditional I-centric approach, our collective wisdom grows and evolves. This kind of thinking creates stronger organizations and societies. It fosters mutual shared respect for the unique contribution every person is capable of making. Solid, lasting, mutually beneficial relationships are at the core of WE. Giving with no expectation of return is a great way to create these types of relationships.
This is a quid pro quo world: you do for me and I’ll do for you. While there is nothing wrong in reciprocating a good deed or a favor, there is a fundamental problem with quid pro quo. It is reactive not proactive. Too many people wait for others to go first. They adopt the attitude, “When and if you do for me, I’ll do for you.” This scarcity mentality is not conducive to creating WE. When you come from a scarcity mentality, you focus on holding on to what you already have. This can prevent you from receiving what you might possibly get.
On the other hand, giving with no expectation of return comes from a proactive abundance mentality. When you give with no expectation of return, you are acknowledging the abundance of the universe. You are demonstrating faith that the good you do will benefit others close to you and the world at large – and that good things will come back to you.
Giving with no expectation of return is ironic. I have found that the more I give, the more I receive; often from unlikely sources. But that’s not my reason for giving — and I hope it is not yours. The best reason for giving is the basic joy of making a difference in other people’s lives and in creating a WE-centric world.
I love the Liberty Mutual Insurance “responsibility” ads. They are a very visual demonstration of the ideas behind creating WE – especially giving with no expectation of return. You’ve probably seen them. They begin with someone going a little out of his or her way to do something that benefits others; picking up a piece of trash, opening a door for another person who’s hands are full. Another person observes this and goes out of his or her way for someone else. The cycle repeats several times during the ad. The message is clear. We are all better off when we help each other.
Giving without expectation of return not only helps you create a WE-centric culture, it helps you build strong partnerships. Larry Agresto is a WE-centric guy. He says, “Truly successful people never compete, they network and leverage their relationships by providing value and giving more than they receive.”
In the end, giving with no expectation of return comes down to your mentality – scarcity or abundance. If you come from a scarcity mentality, you will live by quid pro quo, and perpetuate the I-centric status quo. If you come from an abundance mentality, you will give with no expectation of return and begin to create a WE-centric world.
I choose abundance and to take an active part in creating a WE-centric paradigm in my circle of influence. I agree with Winston Churchill who once said, “We make a living by what we get, we make a life by what we give.” When you give with no expectation of return you will get a good life. You’ll also get a better world; one in which we all look out for one another.
The common sense point here is simple. Successful people are competent when it comes to building strong lasting relationships with the important people in their lives. Giving with no expectation of return is one way to build relationships. In other words, don’t think quid pro quo. This is a quid pro quo world: you do for me and I’ll do for you. While there is nothing wrong in reciprocating a good deed or a favor, there is a fundamental problem with quid pro quo. It is reactive not proactive. Too many people wait for others to go first. Break that routine, and put yourself out there. Go first.
That’s my take on Creating WE by not thinking quid pro quo. What’s yours? Please take a few minutes to leave a comment sharing your thoughts. As always, thanks for reading.