I’m almost half way through this series of career success coach posts explaining the ideas in my latest book Success Tweets: 140 Bits of Common Sense Career Success Advice, All in 140 Characters or Less.  You can purchase a copy of Success Tweets at your local bookstore or at Amazon.com.  Better yet, you can download a copy for free at www.SuccessTweets.com.

Today’s career advice comes from Success Tweet 68…

Be well groomed and appropriate for every situation.  Always dress one level up from what is expected.  You’ll stand out from the crowd.

Your appearance says a lot about you.  My best career advice on to how your attire can help you create positive personal impact is simple common sense.  Dress one level up.  In other words, dress a little nicer than you have to.  For example, if your office is casual wear a dress or a suit every once in a while. 

I always get dressed up when I am meeting clients.  Many of my clients dress casually.  When they tell me, “You didn’t need to wear a suit today,” I say, “Yes I did.  I’m meeting with an important person — you.”  Show respect for yourself and the people around you by dressing well and looking good.

Accessories are an important part of your appearance.  In general, you want your accessories to compliment, not overpower your clothing.  Keep them understated and elegant.  Large rings and earrings, bracelets that jangle every time you move can distract from your look and your professionalism.  Save the bling for evenings out, tone it down at work.

Pay attention to your electronic accessories.  A couple of years ago, I saw a Wall Street Journal article about electronic accessories.  It made some interesting points about cell phones, PDAs and other electronic helpers – all small enough to tote around with us all the time – and how they can hurt your image as a professional.  Look around, you’ll see that most senior executives aren’t overburdened by electronic accessories.  They don’t wear cell phone ear pieces and don’t clip their phones on their belts.  Keep your electronic accessories in your briefcase or purse, not on display.  You will be projecting a more professional image.

In Wildly Sophisticated, my friend Nicole Williams lays out ten fashion commandments.  I think they are invaluable advice for creating a professional look and helping you dress one level up.

1. Sweat the small stuff. People don’t necessarily notice if you’re groomed, but they definitely notice when you’re not.

2. Restrain yourself. Never let your accessories wear you.

3. Know your body. Recognize that every style trend is not designed for you. This isn’t a limitation – it’s just reality.

4. Black is your friend. Black staples – pants, skirts and jackets are clean, classic and they always look good. They’re flattering, will work with everything else in your closet and will stretch your clothing budget.

5. Focus on your feet. A great pair of shoes can make all the difference in your look.  Make sure your footwear is polished and clean. This is another one of those details that people really do notice.

6. Welcome the three-way mirror.  Make sure your clothes fit well.  Clothes that fit well make you look more professional and help your confidence.

7. Work it. Style is really a synonym for self-expression. You’ll feel and look better when your clothes reflect your personality.   I’m a big guy.  I look better in conservative clothing, so I wear Brooks Brothers – and often get complimented on my appearance.

8. Buy quality. In the long run, quality clothes will actually save you money.

9. Invest in accessories.  Your bag or briefcase is a constant companion. Clients, employers and colleagues notice what’s on your arm. Invest in a quality piece that reflects your style. And in this age of laptops, cell phones and PDAs, a bag that will carry your hardware is a lifesaver.

10. Relax. Bottom line? Its just fashion. Give it your best shot; know that style matters and that looking groomed and professional are important for your career.

The common sense career success coach point here is simple.  Follow the career advice in Tweet 68 in Success Tweets.  “Be well groomed and appropriate for every situation.  Always dress one level up from what is expected.  You’ll stand out from the crowd.”  “Act as if” is one of the bits of career advice I often offer my career success coach clients.  One way to “act as if” is to dress as if you’re in the position to which you aspire.  That means dressing at least one level up from what is expected of you.  For men, a blazer and slacks with a nice shirt and tie, or for women a suit with a silk blouse and tasteful accessories will help you create the look of a successful professional – someone who is going places.

That’s my take on the career advice in Tweet 68 in Success Tweets.  What’s yours?  Please take a minute to leave a comment sharing your thoughts with us.  As always, thanks for reading.  I really appreciate it.

Bud

I’m still writing this series of posts on the career advice in my latest book Success Tweets: 140 Bits of Common Sense Career Success Advice, All in 140 Characters or Less.  I hope you are enjoying reading them.  Today is the last post on self confidence.  I’ve now done 20 posts on “clarity of purpose and direction,” 20 on “commitment to personal responsibility for your life and career” and 20 on “self confidence.”  You can purchase a copy of Success Tweets at Amazon.com or your local bookstore – or you can get a free copy of the eBook at www.SuccessTweets.com.

Today’s career success coach post is on Tweet 60…

Take stock of yourself.  What are your strengths?  What are your weaknesses?  Confident people emphasize their strengths.

I saw a great quote on line a while back… 

“What we are is God’s gift to us. What we become is our gift to God.” 

It was from Eleanor Powell.  If you don’t know Ms. Powell, she was a well known dancer and actress who appeared in many musicals in the 1930s and 1940s.  She was a good dancer, but an amazing tap dancer.  In her day, she was known as “the world’s greatest tap dancer.”

I love her quote – it gets at the heart of self confidence and commitment to taking personal responsibility for your life and career success.  God (or the universe, if you are so inclined) gives each of us certain talents and abilities.  It is up to us to take those talents and abilities that we have been given and develop them, make full use of them.  This is our gift back to God (or the universe).

Eleanor Powell was given the gift of dance.  She began dancing in Vaudeville when she was 11 and was on Broadway when she was 17.  She developed her dancing talent to a very high level.

I have been given several gifts – the ability to write clearly, the ability to simplify the complex, empathy and common sense.  I’ve worked hard to develop these gifts.  I use them to help others grow and develop and to create the life and career success they want and deserve.  I believe that I owe it to myself, God and the people who read the career advice I write and those who avail themselves of my career success coach services to keep learning, growing and developing my skills.

That’s why I started blogging.  That’s why I write books.  Both give me the chance to use and develop my writing skills, and my ability to simplify complex things – like creating the life and career success you want and desrve.  I created my Career Success GPS System for the same reasons – to continue to develop my skills and to help others. 

When you focus on your strengths, you are emphasizing what you do well naturally.  And this important.   When I was young, I realized that my strengths lie in my ability to think and communicate.  I could always write clearly and persuasively.  I wasn’t so good at math and science.  For a long time, I focused on my weaknesses – taking advanced placement chemistry, physics and calculus courses in high school.  I didn’t enjoy these courses, but I suffered through them – and did OK grade wise too.  I did this because in those days, I was the epitome of  the Protestant Work Ethic in overdrive.  The less I liked something, or showed a natural talent for it, the more I chose to master it. 

What a waste!  I should have been spending my time on the things I liked – and for which I have a natural talent.  My four years at Penn State cured me of my tendency to focus on my weaknesses.  That was the best thing I got out of my time there – the idea that I should focus on and develop my strengths – the things that came naturally to me, the things at which I could excel because I enjoyed them and they were easy for me.

That’s what you need to do too.  Focus on your strengths.  Build on them.  This will help you build your self confidence and create the life and career success that you want and deserve.  Don’t ignore your weaknesses – do what you can to improve on them, but don’t make them the focus of your self improvement work.  My best career advice on building your self confidence can be summed up in four words: “Focus on your strengths.” 

The common sense career success coach point here is simple.  Successful people commit to taking personal responsibility for developing their self confidence.  They apply the advice in Tweet 60 in Success Tweets.  “Take stock of yourself.  What are your strengths?  What are your weaknesses?  Confident people emphasize their strengths.  As Eleanor Powell said, “What we are is God’s gift to us. What we become is our gift to God.”  She took personal responsibility for using her God given dance talent to become the world’s greatest tap dancer, and become a vaudeville, Broadway and Hollywood star.  What are your God given talents?  What have you done to develop them?  Commit to taking personal responsibility for developing your talents.  It’s the best way to give thanks for them, to help others, and to create the life and career success you want and deserve.

That’s my take on the career advice on committing to developing your talents that’s in Tweet 60 in Success Tweets.  What’s yours?  Please take a few minutes to leave a comment sharing your thoughts with us.  As always, thanks for reading.

Bud

I’m still enjoying writing this series of posts on the career advice in my latest book Success Tweets: 140 Bits of Common Sense Career Success Advice, All in 140 Characters or Less.  I hope you are enjoying reading them.  You can purchase a copy of Success Tweets at Amazon.com or your local bookstore – or you can get a free copy of the eBook at www.SuccessTweets.com.

Today’s career success coach post is on Tweet 59…

Give so much time to building your self confidence and improving yourself that you have not time to criticize others.

This tweet has its roots in Point 9 of The Optimist Creed.  “Give so much time to the improvement of yourself that you have no time to criticize others.”

Like everything else in The Optimist Creed, this is great common sense career advice.  I know that I have a lot to learn.  There are many things about me on which I can improve.  I’m just guessing here, but I bet that’s true for you too.  That’s why I choose to focus on improving me rather than criticizing others. 

I’m not a real religious guy, but I do remember a few bible stories.  There’s one where people are gathered to stone a woman who is accused of adultery.  Jesus disperses the angry crowd by telling them, “Let he who has no sinned cast the first stone?”  I know I am in no position to be casting stones.  I doubt if you are either.  None of us are perfect.  If we both choose to put our energy into building our self confidence and improving yourselves – not criticizing others for their failings – we will be happier, more confident and successful, and the world will be a less contentious place.

I first learned about Abraham Maslow’s hierarchy of human needs when I was in college at Penn State.  The model was structured as a pyramid with “self actualization” at the top.  Dr. Maslow defined self actualization as “being all that you can be” – something the US Army borrowed for its TV recruiting commercials several years ago.

According to Dr. Maslow self actualization is an unattainable state, because no matter what you achieve, you soon realize that you can achieve even more.  You can take this one of two ways.  You can see it as negative and frustrating because you’ll never reach the goal of being self actualized.  Or you can see it as positive and inspiring because you’ll always have another dream to chase, another goal to reach.

I choose the latter.  I was telling someone the other day that the whole web 2.0 phenomenon has been great for me, because I have begun really learning lately.  I’ve always kept up in my field, but I’ve felt for the past few years that most of my learning was incremental.  I wasn’t making any quantum leaps forward.

However, since I’ve begun blogging and tweeting, I’ve learned a lot – really a lot.  And, as the ninth point of the Optimist Creed points out, I haven’t had the time, nor the inclination, to think about what others are doing, much less criticizing them.  I’m busy learning and growing -– and that’s cool and fun and exciting.

The common sense career success coach point here is simple.  If you want to build your self confidence, work on improving yourself and achieving your goals.  Don’t worry about what others are doing, or comparing yourself to them.  Be too busy with your own growth to worry about anyone else.  Follow the advice in Tweet 59 in Success Tweets.  “Give so much time building our self confidence and improving yourself that you have not time to criticize others.”  This is great career advice.  Criticizing others is a waste of your precious time.  It robs you of the ability to set and achieve your goals and create the life and career success you want and deserve.  Besides that, you’re probably not in the position to be casting stones anyway – I know I’m not.

That’s my take on the career advice in Tweet 59 in Success Tweets.  What’s yours?  Please take a few minutes to share your thoughts with us by leaving a comment.  As always, thanks for reading.

Bud

I value  my readers.  That’s why I’m doing a second post today. 

I am always looking for inspirational stories that are also good career advice to share with you.   

I’ve attached a movie that illustrates the latest story I’ve just found.  I hope you enjoy both the story and the movie.

To see the movie, click on this link:

http://www.lifesecretsonline.com/movie/?t=TCSG&m=AcresOfDiamonds

Now for the story…

Russell Herman Conwell was one of the most interesting Americans who lived in the 19th century.  He was a lawyer and a clergyman.

One day, a young man went to him and told him he wanted a college education but couldn’t swing it financially.

Dr. Conwell decided that his aim in life would be to build a university for unfortunate, but deserving, students.

He did have a challenge, however. He would need a few million dollars to build it.

Dr. Conwell was committed to buildin his college.  Nothing could stand in the way of his goal.

Several years before he decided to build his college, Dr. Conwell heard a true story with an ageless moral.

The story was about a farmer who lived in Africa and became tremendously excited about looking for diamonds.

Diamonds had already been discovered in abundance on the African continent.  This farmer got so excited about the idea of millions of dollars worth of diamonds that he sold his farm to head out to the diamond line.

He wandered all over the continent constantly searching for diamonds and wealth, which he never found.

Eventually he went completely broke and threw himself into a river and drowned.

Meanwhile, the new owner of his farm picked up an unusual looking rock about the size of a country egg and put it on his mantle as a sort of curiosity.

A visitor told the new owner of the farm that the funny looking rock on his mantle was about the biggest diamond that had ever been found.

The new owner of the farm said, “Heck, the whole farm is covered with them” – and sure enough it was.

The farm turned out to be the Kimberly Diamond Mine…the richest the world has ever known. The original farmer was literally standing on “Acres of Diamonds” until he sold his farm.

Dr. Conwell learned from the story of the farmer and continued to teach it’s moral. Each of us is right in the middle of our own “Acre of Diamonds”, if only we would realize it and develop the ground we are standing on before charging off in search of greener pastures.

Dr. Conwelltold this story many times and attracted enormous audiences. He told the story long enough to raise the money he neede to start the college for underprivileged deserving students.

In all, he raised nearly six million dollars and the university he founded, Temple University in Philadelphia,has at least ten degree-granting colleges and six other schools.  Today, it is part of the Pennsylvania State Higher Education System.

When Doctor Russell H. Conwell talked about each of us being right on our own “Acre of Diamonds”, he meant it. This story does not get old.  It will be true forever.

What diamonds are you standing on without even realizing it?

Opportunity does not just come along – it is there all the time – we just have to see it.

Here’s the link to the movie…

http://www.lifesecretsonline.com/movie/?t=TCSG&m=AcresOfDiamonds

Enjoy it, share it with your friends.  Tweet about it.  Share it on Facebook.

Above all, look for the diamonds within you.

Bud

I’m still enjoying writing this series of posts on the career advice in my latest book Success Tweets: 140 Bits of Common Sense Career Success Advice, All in 140 Characters or Less.  I hope you are enjoying reading them.  You can purchase a copy of Success Tweets at Amazon.com or your local bookstore – or you can get a free copy of the eBook at www.SuccessTweets.com.

Today’s career success coach post is on Tweet 58…

Be as enthusiastic about the success of others as you are about your own.  Help all people recognize that they are special.

This tweet contains advice from two more points in The Optimist Creed.  Point 6 says, “Be just as enthusiastic about the success of others as you are about your own.”  Point 3 says, Make all your friends feel that there is something in them.”

Let’s talk about Point 6 first… 

All teachers know that the best way to really master a subject is to learn to teach it.  I learned this firsthand when I was teaching in the Business School at Northeastern University when I was completing my dissertation at Harvard.  To be an effective teacher, you have to have complete mastery of your subject.  You need to be able to present it in a number of different ways to that people with different ways of thinking will be able to grasp the ideas you are presenting.

I have found that this is true for self confidence as well.  The more you help others develop their self confidence, the more yours will grow.  This is true for me.  As I’ve worked with my career success coach clients, I have seen them grow, develop and flourish.  I am really happy when my clients put my career advice to use and succeed.  Seeing them grow and flourish makes me happy.  And my self confidence also grows.

In yesterday’s post I mentioned my bestselling book, Straight Talk for Success.  I got the confidence to write this book from watching my coaching clients succeed.  As I watched them put to work my career advice, I came to believe that I was really on to something and that I should share my thoughts with a broader audience.

In other words, by being “enthusiastic about the success of others”, I became more self confident and enthusiastic about the chances of success of my books – that’s why I wrote Success Tweets as a follow on to Straight Talk. 

It’s karmic.  I’ve put out some positive energy – both my career advice and my enthusiasm for other peoples’ success.  And I’ve seen my career success coach clients benefit from this energy.  As a result, I have benefited by being able to gather my thoughts, publish them and help more people create the life and career success they want and desereve.

Now lets’ talk about Point 3 of The Optimist Creed…

Everybody likes to feel special.  Mary Kay Ash, the founder of Mary Kay Cosmetics said it really well.  “Everyone has an invisible sign hanging from their neck saying, ‘Make me feel important.’ Never forget this message when working with people.”  She’s right.  That’s the main message here. 

I’d like to take the advice in The Optimist Creed one step further.  I suggest that you promise yourself to make all the people you meet – not just your friends — feel that there is something special in them.  When you do this, two things will happen.  1) You’ll make their day.  2) You’ll feel better about yourself.  And, feeling good about yourself is an important part of self confidence.

Let me tell you a story.  A couple of years ago, I was in New York to facilitate a meeting at a client’s office.  The meeting was scheduled to begin at 7:30.  I always like to turn up early for meetings I am facilitating. 

I arrived at the client’s office about 6:50.  Since 9/11, they have a security card system.  Because I do a lot of work for them, I have a contractor security card.  When I swiped the card that day, I was denied access.  The Security Guard on duty looked at my card and told me that I have limited access — 7:00 am to 7:00 pm — to the building and that I would have to wait 10 minutes.

I didn’t know this.  I’m usually not there that early.  It was winter. I was cold.  I was tired.  I had arrived at my hotel at 12:30 am the previous night.  I tried to convince the guard to let me in to the building.  He was unyielding (as he should have been).  I expressed my frustration at this “silly rule”, and went to the coffee shop next door to wait until 7:00.

When I came back at 7:02, I apologized to the Security Guard.  He was genuinely surprised.  He said that similar situations happen a couple of times a week, and a lot of people get really angry at being made to wait.  He told me that I was actually quite pleasant for someone who was being denied access to the building.

And that’s the common sense point here.  I apologized to the guard and told him that he was not only “just doing his job”, but that he was doing a good job.  He was firm in upholding the company’s policy, but he did it in a professional, non confrontational manner.  This was some positive feedback for someone who is in a role where positive feedback isn’t all that common. 

I could tell that he appreciated my comments.  He felt a little better about himself because he did the right thing – and that someone who was frustrated by him doing the right thing recognized and appreciated the value of what he did.  Both he and I began our days with a smile. 

I felt better about myself because I chose to apologize for the little bit of grief I gave him, and I did something small to make his day just a little bit brighter.

Self confident, optimistic people feel good enough about themselves to help others feel good about themselves.  This is a powerful way to build relationships with others and to become a life and career success.  Try it.  Look for ways to help everybody you meet to feel as if there is something special in them.

The common sense career success coach point here is simple.  Self confident, successful people aren’t threatened by, or envious of, the success of others.  They follow the career advice in Tweet 58 in Success Tweets.  “Be as enthusiastic about the success of others as you are about your own.  Help all people recognize that they are special.”  I am reminded of a quote from Jackie Robinson, the man who broke the color barrier in major league baseball, here.  “I’m not concerned with your liking or disliking me…all I ask is that you respect me as a human being.”  Being enthusiastic about others’ successes and helping others recognize that they are special are two great ways to respect them as human beings.  No one of us can succeed on our own.  We need the help and support of others.  The best way to gain the help and support of others is to help and support others.  Being enthusiastic – not envious – of others’ success is a good way to start.

That’s my take on the career advice in Tweet 58 in Success Tweets.  What’s yours?  Please take a few minutes to share your thoughts with us in a comment.  As always, thanks for reading.

Bud

I’m still enjoying writing this series of posts on the career advice in my latest book Success Tweets: 140 Bits of Common Sense Career Success Advice, All in 140 Characters or Less.  I hope you are enjoying reading them.  You can purchase a copy of Success Tweets at Amazon.com or your local bookstore – or you can get a free copy of the eBook at www.SuccessTweets.com.

Today’s career success coach post is on Tweet 57…

Think only of the best, work only for the best and expect only the best.  Forget the mistakes of the past.  Press on to better things.

This tweet is a combination of two points of The Optimist Creed.  The first part comes from point 5 of the Creed: Think only of the best, work only for the best and expect only the best. 

This is an important point.  Too many people settle for mediocrity.  They take an “it’s good enough” attitude.  Good enough is certainly not the best.  In my opinion, it is not even good enough.

In 2001, Jim Collins published a great book, Good to Great.  The very first words in Chapter 1 are “Good is the enemy of great.”  Later, on the first page, he says, “Few people attain great lives, in great part because it is just too easy to settle for a good life.” 

And that’s what the fifth point of The Optimist Creed is all about.  Don’t just be good, be great.  Why not?  All it takes is a little more effort.

Here’s a personal example.  I have found that blogging is a great way to write a book.  I blog every day, so I have a lot of material.  A couple of years ago, I took many of the posts from this blog and tied them together into a book.  I was all set to publish it, when one of the people I had asked to read it said, “This is good, but it could be great.  It reads too much like a series of blog posts.  Your voice doesn’t come through well enough.” 

I didn’t want to hear that.  I wanted to get the book published.  My first thought was, “This is good enough, I don’t want to do a lot of rewriting.”  My second thought was, “I can write a great book, why settle for a good one?”  So I rewrote the book.  The first one wasn’t a total loss.  I published it is an e book called Star Power: Common Sense Ideas for Career and Life Success.  You can get a copy by going to http://budbilanich.com/starpower.

I rewrote Star Power, and changed the title to Straight Talk for Success.  This book came out in both hard cover and paperback editions in February 2008.  It became an Amazon.com bestseller.  Straight Talk for Success is better than Star Power.  It’s better than Star Power because I took the time to rewrite, to make my voice come through.  I thought only of the best, worked for the best, and expected only the best of myself.” 

When Straight Talk for Success went to the printer, I was really proud of what I had written.  I think it is great.  It is the best I could do.  In my heart of hearts, I knew that Star Power was good, but that I could do better.  Someone challenged me to go from good to great, and I did – in my opinion at least. 

I am proud of what I have accomplished in Straight Talk.  I feel as if I have been true to myself by not settling for something that is merely good when I had the chance to be great by putting in a little more time and effort.

The second part of the tweet comes from Point 7 of The Optimist Creed: “To forget the mistakes of the past and press on to the greater achievements of the future.”

What happens to you, or the mistakes you’ve made aren’t important.  How you react to it is.  Don’t dwell on negative stuff or your mistakes, use them as a springboard to action and creativity.

Successful people develop the habit of focusing on the positive and putting the negative out of their minds.  Positive habits like this are an important key to career success.  Habits are like muscles.  The more you use them, the stronger they get.  Dan Robey is the King of Positive Habits.  His eBook, The Power of Positive Habits, is one of my go to books when I need to give myself a little boost.  You can get a copy at www.ThePowerOfPositiveHabits.com.  I discussed Dan’s ideas in detail in the post on Success Tweet 37.  Check it out if you missed it.

In her book, Forget Your Troubles: Enjoy Your Life Today, Evelyn Brooks suggests that you get S.M.A.R.T. about putting past mistakes behind you.

• S     Smash the negative.
• M    Maximize the positive.
• A    Act.
• R    Relax.
• T    Target your next action.

One of my favorite piece of career success coach advice is…

“Stuff happens as you go through life; positive stuff, negative stuff, happy stuff, sad stuff, frustrating stuff.  The important thing is not what happens, but how you react to it.  In other words, smash your negative thoughts; replace them with positive ones.  Don’t dwell on the negative, use it as a springboard to action and creativity.  This will help you maximize the positive in your life.” 

The common sense career success coach point here is simple.  Successful people follow the advice in Tweet 57 in Success Tweets.  “Think only of the best, work only for the best, and expect only the best.  Forget the mistakes of the past.  Press on to better things.”  This advice comes from The Optimist Creed.  The first part is point 5: “Think only of the best, work only for the best and expect only the best.”  I think the first few words in Jim Collins book, From Good to Great, sum it up well – “Good is the enemy of great.”  If you never allow yourself to settle for “good enough” you will be expecting only the best from yourself.  The second part of the career advice in this tweet comes from point 7 in The Optimist Creed: “Forget the mistakes of the past and press on to the greater achievements of the future.”  If you want a free .pdf of The Optimist Creed that you can frame and hang in your workplace, go to http://BudBilanich.com/optimist.  Remember, it’s not what happens to you, but how you react to it.  Don’t dwell on the negative or past mistakes, use them as a springboard to action and creativity.  Smash the negatives in your life and create positive thoughts, habits and routines.  Use the negatives that come your way as learning experiences that will help you create the life and career success you want and deserve.  The idea of creating positive habits – like not settling for good enough — is a powerful piece of career advice and that help your become the life and career success you deserve to be.

That’s my take on the career advice in Tweet 57 in Success Tweets.  What’s yours?  Please take a few minutes to share your thoughts with us – and your triumphs over past mistakes – with us.  As always, thanks for reading.  I really appreciate it.

Bud

Happy Independence Day to my readers in the USA.  I hope you are enjoying the long weekend.  Cathy and I did a lot of biking and saw a couple of mivies and some great live fireworks on Saturday and enjoyed the Washington DC, New York and Boston ones on TV yesterday. 

I’m still enjoying writing this series of posts on the career advice in my latest book Success Tweets: 140 Bits of Common Sense Career Success Advice, All in 140 Characters or Less.  I hope you are enjoying reading them.  You can purchase a copy of Success Tweets at Amazon.com or your local bookstore – or you can get a free copy of the eBook at www.SuccessTweets.com.

Today’s post is on Tweet 56…

Self confidence must come from within.  Outside reinforcement and strokes can help, but you have to build your own confidence.

“I am not confident, what do I need to do to become more confident?”  I get asked this question a lot.  Here is how I respond… 

Self confidence is an inside job.  Self confident people are optimistic.  Self confident people face their fears and act.  Self confident people surround themselves with positive people.  If you want to build your self confidence, focus on becoming an optimist, facing your fears and surrounding yourself with positive people.  Let’s look at each of these in a little more detail.

Optimism

Max Moore defines optimism as “the fuel of heroes, the enemy of despair, the creator of the future”.  Optimism is the opposite of pessimism which Denis Boyle says is “as magnetic as any black hole, swallowing one good day after another until there are no good days left”.  Read that sentence again.  It’s great career advice for becoming more self confident – avoid the black hole of pessimism.

In a very interesting article in the March/April 2007 edition of AARP, The Magazine (yes, I’m old enough to be a member) Mr. Boyle makes some great points about optimism and pessimism:

“The essential truth about optimism: the opportunities for it are everywhere.  They just get ignored…Pessimism though, is the default state of our psyche, and the easy way out.  We tell ourselves there is nothing we can do because life sucks, black holes abound, Murphy’s Law rules.  Meanwhile, optimism takes effort.  Despites tons of information provided by zealous pessimists, optimists believe everything will turn out fine.  They are able to do something no pessimist can: they do their part to make sure tomorrow will be better than today.  To subscribe to optimism means that you have a role in shaping your own future.  Why is this important?  Because it’s how stuff gets done.  No successful individual could conduct business with a set of pessimistic assumptions…Work, progress, great ideas all are fueled by optimism.”

I agree with this career advice.  I am an optimist.  I admit that in these days of high unemployment and oil spills it can be difficult being optimistic, but I choose to be relentlessly optimistic.  I believe every day is going to be a good day – and set about making it so.  I believe I will succeed in every project I undertake.  This optimism fuels my self confidence, and my self confidence drives my performance.

Tal Ben-Shahar teaches a course in Positive Psychology at Harvard.  He had 800 students in his course last year.  He offers the following three tips for becoming more optimistic:

1. Give yourself permission to be human – don’t beat up yourself about mistakes.
2. Express gratitude often.
3. Engage in activities that give your life pleasure as well as meaning.

Fear

Fear is the enemy of self confidence.  It’s also very normal.  We’re all afraid sometimes.  Usually it’s fear of failure.  Fear can be debilitating, paralyzing us into inaction.  Over the years, I’ve found how to face up to my fears and to conquer them.  Indecision, procrastination and inaction feed fear.  Action cures it.

I offer my career sucess coach clients four easy steps for dealing with fear. 

1. Identify it
2. Admit it
3. Accept it
4. Take action to deal with it

In the post on Success Tweet 46, I discussed these four steps for dealing with fear in detail.  Check it out if you missed it.

Positive People

Surround yourself with positive people – people who are both positive by nature, and positive about their success in their life and career.  Positive people are optimistic – and as I’ve discussed above, optimism is the first step in building self confidence. 

Positive people help you feel good about yourself, because they feel good about themselves and life in general.  Positive people are there when you begin to doubt yourself.  They help you build your self esteem because they have a strong sense of self esteem.  People with a strong sense of self esteem are not threatened by others.  They realize that self esteem is not a fixed pie.  There is an unlimited amount of it to go around.  Therefore, you can build your self confidence just by being around upbeat, positive people.

Self confident people take the time to identify and build relationships with mentors. Wikipedia defines a mentor as “a trusted friend, advisor, counselor or teacher; usually a more experienced person…Today mentors provide their expertise to less experienced individuals in order to help them advance their careers, enhance their education, and build their networks.”  Mentors are positive people by definition.  You cannot be willing to lend your wisdom and expertise to another person without being hopeful about that person and his or her future. 

I have had several mentors over my career: Bert Phillips, Maggie Watson, Dick Pelton, Bill Rankin, Howard Sohn were all trusted friends and advisors at one time or another in my career.  I believe that mentoring is so powerful that as I turn 60, I am working with three mentors.  Russell Brunson, Stephanie Frank and Nancy Marmolejo are helping me turn the intellectual property that I have developed over the past 35 years into products that can be sold on line.

Mentors challenge you to do better.  That’s why they are so important in building self confidence.  As they challenge you, they are also telling you that “you can do it”.  Having someone who believes in you – like a mentor – is a one of the best ways I know to build self confidence and life and career success.

The common sense career success coach point here is simple.  Successful people are self confident.  They understand the career advice in Tweet 56 in Success Tweets.  “Self confidence must come from within.  Outside reinforcement and strokes can help, but you have to build your own confidence.”  You can build your self confidence by becoming an optimist, facing your fears and acting and surrounding yourself with positive people.  Self confidence is an inside job.  You have to create it yourself.  But once you do, you’ll find that it’s an upward spiral.  Your confidence will inspire you to take on challenges.  Your success in dealing with these challenges will help you become more confident – which in turn, will allow you to take on and meet even greater challenges.  A pretty good message on Independence Day weekend if I do say so myself.

That’s my take on the career advice in Tweet 56 in Success Tweets.  What’s yours?  Please take a few minutes to share your thoughts with us by leaving a comment.

Bud

I’m enjoying writing this series of posts on the career advice in my latest book Success Tweets: 140 Bits of Common Sense Career Success Advice, All in 140 Characters or Less.  I hope you are enjoying reading them.  You can purchase a copy of Success Tweets at Amazon.com or your local bookstore – or you can get a free copy of the eBook at www.SuccessTweets.com.

Today’s career success coach post is on Tweet 55…

Stand or sit up straight.  Don’t slouch.  Your mother was right.  Good posture is important.  It makes you look self confident.

Several years ago when she was Secretary of State, Madeline Albright delivered the commencement address at Wellesley College.  She concluded her remarks by saying, “congratulations, good luck, and remember to always sit up straight.”  Great career advice if you ask me.

Good posture not only makes you appear to be self confident, it helps your self confidence.  When you stand or sit up straight, other people see you as confident, ethical, straightforward, awake, alert and alive – a winner.  You feel more self confident when you stand up or sit up straight.

I turned on one of the games in recent the NBA Finals a couple of weeks ago.  It was late in the game, and they were showing the benches.  I knew who was winning just by looking at the players and coaches.  The Lakers were winning that game.  They were sitting straight and had big smiles on their faces.  The Celtics, on the other hand, were slumped down on their bench.  The contrast was striking, and it makes a great career success point.  Winners sit and stand up straight.

In the post on Success Tweet 53, I mentioned Debra Benton’s book, Executive Charisma.  Debra has some things to say about good posture too…

“Good posture shows confidence, vitality, discipline and youthfulness.  Slumped posture implies fright, insecurity, lack of self-acceptance or self control, lack of self discipline, a loser, sheepishness, shame and guilt.  To stand tall and straight is to have a demeanor that says, ‘I expect acceptance.’”

I don’t know about you, but I prefer others to think of me as confident, vital and disciplined; not as frightened, insecure and shameful. 

Debra offers the following advice on how to stand and sit tall and straight…

“Lift up, suck in and breathe.  Whether you’re sitting or standing, for good posture: 1) pull yourself up by lifting your rib cage away from your pelvis; 2) roll your shoulders back and down; 3) pull your stomach in at the belly button toward your spine; 4) breathe; and 5) maintain the posture and keep breathing…Don’t just read these recommendations and think ‘It’s not that important,’ or ‘I do it fine already,’ or ‘I’ll try it later.’  Stop right now and take yourself through these movements.”

The common sense career success coach point here is simple.  Successful people have good posture.  They follow the career advice in Tweet 55 in Success Tweets.  “Stand or sit up straight.  Don’t slouch.  Your mother was right.  Good posture is important.  It makes you look self confident.”  This is important career advice.  Your vibe tells people a lot about you.  When you slouch, you give off a defeated, unconfident vibe.  When you sit up and stand up straight, you give off a winner’s vibe — that of a confident, poised successful person.  And standing up and sitting up straight will make you feel more self confident. 

That’s my take on the career advice in Tweet 55 in Success Tweets.  What’s yours?  Do us a favor and take a few minutes to share your thoughts with us in a comment.  As always, thanks for reading.  I really appreciate it.

Bud

I’m enjoying writing this series of posts on the career advice in my latest book Success Tweets: 140 Bits of Common Sense Career Success Advice, All in 140 Characters or Less.  I hope you are enjoying reading them.  You can purchase a copy of Success Tweets at Amazon.com or your local bookstore – or you can get a free copy of the eBook at www.SuccessTweets.com.

Today’s post is on Tweet 54…

Fake it till you make it.  Appear to be self confident and others will treat you as if you are.  In turn, this will boost your self confidence.

This post is a continuation of the advice in the post on Success Tweet 53.

The old saying “fake it till you make it” is great career advice.  If you are nervous about being accepted – in a new job or work group, by a new client, by a community that you want to join – act as if you are confident of being accepted.  Think, “Of course, I’ll be accepted.”  This will give you the seIf confidence to act in a manner that assume acceptance – even if you’re faking it at first – people will be likely to accept you. 

Here’s what one of my favorite philosophers and essayists, Ralph Waldo Emerson, has to say on this subject… 

“The virtue you would like to have, assume it is already yours, appropriate it, enter into the part and live the character just as the great actor is absorbed in the part he plays.”

He’s right.  If you play a part long enough, you become that part.

Dottie Walters who passed away on Valentine’s Day 2007 is a great example of this.  You probably don’t know who she was, but in certain circles – professional speakers – she was a legend.  Dottie Walters was one of the pioneers of the speaking business.  There is no aspect of it that she didn’t touch or influence. Her book, Speak and Grow Rich, is one of the all-time best sellers in our industry. She also produced several audio recordings, books, booklets, and a news magazine for speakers, Sharing Ideas. You could even hear her being interviewed at 30,000 feet, as she often was highlighted in the airlines audio programs.  Dottie Walters was a true icon on the speaking business.

However, I’m not writing about her here because she influenced the lives and careers of many professional speakers, mine included.  I’m writing about Dottie Walters here because she began by faking it till she made it.  And she was one of the most optimistic people I know.  She truly believed that she would be accepted in whatever she did. 

In 1948, she was a stay-at-home mother of two.  Her husband’s dry cleaning business was on the verge of collapse due to a recession, leaving them with little income and $5,000 in debt – a very sizeable sum in those days.  Dottie became a saleswoman for a newspaper; first ads, then circulation. 

Then she founded a business, Hospitality Hostess Service, kind of like Welcome Wagon.  She built it into a four-office, 285-employee business with 4,000 continuous contract advertising accounts.

She began reading everything she could about sales.  She found that all of the books she was reading were written for men.  She went to the library to find some books on sales that were written for women.  When she asked the librarian where the books for women in sales were, she was told, “There are no women in sales, so there are no books for them.”

That night, in her mind Dottie saw a copy of a book that had not yet been written on the library shelf.  The title was Never Underestimate the Selling Power of a Woman!  She decided to write that book.  It was the first book ever written for women in sales by a saleswoman.  Dottie Walters expected that her book and her ideas would be accepted – and they were.  She also had never written a book before, so she faked it until she made it.

Tupperware bought out the entire first printing of that book, and added a front section with a letter and picture of their President. They booked Dottie to speak at their big rallies around the country. Many other direct sales companies followed suit.

She went on from there to produce audio programs, and become one of the founding members of the National Speakers Association.  Dottie Walters became a legend because she believed in herself.  She acted as if she expected to be accepted – and she was.  As Emerson suggests, she “played the role” of a super saleswoman for so long that she eventually became a super saleswoman.  She assumed that her book on women in sales was necessary and would sell.  She was right.  Dottie Walters always looked at the bright side.  She assumed she would be accepted even when she was selling newspaper subscriptions while pushing two children in a stroller. 

In The Power of Positive Thinking, Norman Vincent Peale makes an interesting point about being accepted and liked…

“The fact is that popularity can be attained by a few simple, natural, normal and easily mastered techniques.  Practice them diligently and you will become a well liked person.  First, become a comfortable person, one with whom people can associate without a sense of strain.  A comfortable person is easy going and natural.  He has a pleasant, kindly, genial way about him.”

This is great career advice and where acting as if you expect to be accepted comes in.  When you expect to be accepted you don’t work too hard at getting people to like and accept you – you become a comfortable person; someone who is easy going and natural with a pleasant, kindly, genial way.

The common sense career success coach point here is simple.  Successful people build relationships easily because they are self confident.  They follow the career advice in Tweet 54 in Success Tweets.  “Fake it till you make it.  Appear to be self confident and others will treat you as if you are.  In turn, this will boost your self confidence.”  Norman Vincent Peale suggests that the best way to act as if you expect to be accepted is to become a comfortable person – someone others want to be around.  He says that comfortable people are easy going and natural.  I agree with this career advice.  When you are easy going and natural people sense that you expect them to accept you.  While other people’s opinion shouldn’t be the entire basis of your self confidence, feeling accepted by others is always a confidence booster.

That’s my take on the career advice in Tweet 54 in Success Tweets.  What’s yours?  I’d appreciate it if you would leave a comment sharing your thoughts with us.  As always, thanks for reading.

Bud

I’m enjoying writing this series of posts on the ideas in my latest career success coach book, Success Tweets: 140 Bits of Common Sense Career Success Advice, All in 140 Characters or Less.  I hope you’re enjoying reading them.  You can purchase a copy of Success Tweets at your local bookstore, or on Amazon.com.  Or, you can get a free copy of the eBoook at www.SuccessTweets.com.

Today’s career success coach post is on Tweet 53…

Act as if you expect to be accepted and you will be.  This will increase your confidence and help you make a strong personal impact.

“Acting as if” is great career advice on building your self confidence.  People respond to what you do and how you behave.  So if you act and look self confident, people will treat you as someone who is self confident.  If you act as if you expect to be accepted – at work, by a customer or client, by a group you want to join – you will be likely to be accepted.  It’s all in how you carry and present yourself.

Self confident people greet others with a firm handshake, look them in the eye, and smile.  They offer their opinions confidently, and listen attentively to what others have to say.

Debra Benton is a friend of mine.  Chapter tow in her excellent book, Executive Charisma, is called “Expect and Give Acceptance to Maintain Esteem.”  She says…

“As a human being walking this earth you have a right by birth to expect acceptance from everyone; and you have an obligation to give it to everyone.  You can’t expect it for yourself and not give it to others…If you don’t expect acceptance, you won’t get any…Ignore thoughts such as ‘I got here by accident and I’ll be found out.’ ‘I’m dreading the day when someone is going to get me for that.’ ‘I’m close to being found out, so I’ll hide out where I am.’ Expecting acceptance is putting yourself on par with any other member of the human species.  Expecting acceptance is stubbornly and justifiably holding a belief of simple self-acceptance.  No one is above you or below you.  We are all at the same level.”

It’s difficult to expect acceptance when you have little or no confidence.  On the other hand, it’s easy to expect acceptance when you are self confident.  This can become a positive or negative self fulfilling prophecy.  Self confident people expect to be accepted.  Therefore they are and their self confidence grows.  People are not self confident expect to not be accepted.  Therefore, they aren’t and their self confidence is diminished.

The key is to create your own positive self fulfilling prophecy.  Debra says…

“Initiate a conscious, deliberate, persistent attitude of expecting acceptance from other humans regardless of whether they earn more money, carry a loftier title, or appear to have more power, experience, status and so on…Everyone knows people who can intimidate, overwhelm, rankle, derail or overly impress…These people don’t have power over you unless you give it to them.”

This means that you have to consciously work on building your self confidence.  No one is going to do it for you.  Be optimistic.  Face your fears and act.  Surround yourself with positive people.  Find a mentor and absorb his or her wisdom.  Mentor others.  Do all of these things, and you’ll be more self confident, and able to expect acceptance.  You’ll be creating your own positive self fulfilling prophecy.

Here’s a personal story.  Several years ago, I was working for a large company.  I was in the training and development department and was scheduled to do a talk for sales people in one of our divisions.  I wanted to make sure I did a good job.  I called the Division President and his VP of Sales to schedule information gathering interviews. 

I had great conversations with both of them – and their input helped me develop and conduct a dynamite program that was the highlight of the sales meeting.  The Division President even sent a nice note to my boss, complimenting me on the job I did. 

My boss came to me with the note and asked “How did you get the guts to call the Division President to do that interview?”  My response – “I couldn’t do a great talk if I didn’t know exactly what he wanted and needed.”  Reflecting on this many years later, I realize that I expected acceptance.  Of course, the Division President would be happy to speak with me.  I was someone who could help him run a successful sales meeting.  I created my own positive self fulfilling prophecy.

Sometimes this takes guts.  But I have found that the reward is worth the risk.  Fear of rejection is one of the biggest human fears.  But if you approach people confidently, openly and honestly, they are very likely to accept, not reject you.  To do this, you have to conquer your fear of rejection.  You have to do something – like initiate a conversation.  You have to demonstrate that you expect to be accepted.  When you do this, you’ll find that your fear of rejection is just that…

F   False
E   Expectations
A   Appearing
R   Real

The common sense career success coach point here is simple.  Successful people are self confident.  Self confident people follow the career advice in Tweet 53 in Success Tweets.  “Act as if you expect to be accepted and you will be.  This will increase your confidence and help you make a strong personal impact.”  As Debra Benton says, “Expecting acceptance is putting yourself on par with any other member of the human species.  Expecting acceptance is stubbornly and justifiably holding a belief of simple self-acceptance.  No one is above you or below you.  We are all at the same level.”  This is great common sense career advice.  Don’t put yourself above or below anyone.  Accept others as they are.  Expect that others will accept you.

That’s my take on the career advice in Tweet 53 in Success Tweets.  What’s yours?  Please take a minute or two to leave a comment sharing your thoughts with us.  As always, thanks for reading.

Bud