Successful people surround themselves with positive people – people who are both positive by nature, and positive about success in their lives and careers. Positive people are optimistic, and as I’ve discussed above, optimism is the first step in building self confidence.
Positive people help you feel good about yourself, because they feel good about themselves and life in general. They help you build your self esteem because they have a strong sense of self esteem. Positive people are there when you begin to doubt yourself. They are not threatened by you or your success. They realize that self esteem is not a fixed pie. There is an unlimited amount of it to go around, so positive people are always giving it away. You can build your self confidence and jumpstart your career success just by being around upbeat, positive people.
Not too long ago, I did a talk for a local real estate company. This was at the height of the subprime mortgage crisis, not a good time to be in the real estate business. As people entered the room and saw me, most came over, asked if I were the speaker, and introduced themselves. This was great, because it helped put me at ease. Once I knew people’s names, it was easier to feel relaxed and enjoy doing my talk.
As the moderator kicked off the session, she recognized several people in attendance, all of whom got a nice round of applause for their accomplishments. When she introduced me, the audience also applauded. During my talk, I could see people taking notes and nodding their heads as I spoke. All of this made it easier for me to connect with them as an audience and to do a better job on my talk. In short, my self confidence was buoyed by the positive energy I observed prior to and during my talk.
I’m a professional speaker. I do lots of speeches. And I get a little nervous before each one. I welcome these nerves, because I know they are my body’s way of telling me that I am up for the presentation. I worry when I’m not a little nervous, as that is an indicator that I might be a little flat during the talk.
However, because people introduced themselves to me prior to my talk, I knew that this was a positive audience. I still had the positive butterflies, but my nerves were in check and my self confidence high because of the positive energy in the room.
When I got to the part in my talk about surrounding yourself with positive people, everyone in the audience nodded. They got it – they knew exactly what I was talking about. After the talk, a few people came up to me to discuss that very point. They said that being in the company of positive people was one of the most important aspects of their success.
This is a small example, but a telling one. To succeed in sales, you have to be self confident. By its very nature, selling involves a lot of setbacks and rejection. It takes a self confident person to make the sixth call after not getting anywhere on the previous five. Successful salespeople face and deal with their fears of rejection. And they seek out positive people to help them stay motivated to keep doing what it takes to succeed.
This is important in other aspects of life as well. The people around you have an amazing impact on your view of life. When you surround yourself with negative or cynical people, you become negative and cynical. On the other hand, when you surround yourself with positive, self confident people, you become positive and self confident.
The choice is yours. I choose to surround myself with positive people. Not only do they help my self confidence, they are more fun to be around.