Paulette Ensign is a friend of mine. She runs a business called Tips Products International. On Monday, I got an email from her that got me thinking about one of my favorite career success points. Paulette said…
“Maybe you’ve got dream killers in your life. You know, the friends, family, and colleagues who just don’t get it, and who feel compelled to bring their limited thinking to you as the only way for life to be, who suck the oxygen out of your brilliance.”
Tweet 50 in my career success book, Success Tweets says, “Jettison the negative people in your life. They are energy black holes. They will suck you dry; but only if you let them.” Negative people are dream killers. And, as Paulette says, they can “suck the oxygen out of your brilliance.”
Positive people are optimistic. Negative people tend to be pessimists. I was leading a career success workshop the other day and I mentioned that self-confidence is the hinge on which life and career success swings, and that optimism is the most important ingredient in the self-confidence mix.
On the other hand, pessimism can cause the career success hinge to rust and become difficult to swing. That’s why some of my best career advice is to hold tight to the positive people in your life and run – as fast as you can – from the negative ones, the dream killers.
For me, optimism begins with the ten points of The Optimist Creed. I have given away a couple thousand copies of The Optimist Creed. If you would like one, just go to http://budbilanich.com/optimist.
Let’s take a look at the difference between positive optimistic people and negative pessimistic people.
Positive, optimistic people tend to see problems, failures and setbacks as temporary. Negative, pessimistic people tend to see problems, failures and setbacks as permanent – almost their destiny.
Positive, optimistic people see problems, failures and setbacks as isolated occurrences. Negative, pessimistic people see problems, failures and setbacks as omnipresent – things from which you can’t escape.
Positive, optimistic people don’t take problems, failures and setbacks personally. Negative, pessimistic people personalize problems, failures and setbacks.
If you read this blog with any regularity, you know that I am an incurable optimist. I see problems, failures and setbacks not only as temporary, but as opportunities to learn and grow. I expect things to go well.
When I run into problems, failures and setbacks, I’m always a little surprised because I don’t expect them. I do, however, plan for them. Finally, I never take a problem, failure or setback personally. I’m a human being. Sometimes I make great decisions. Sometimes I make poor ones. My self-worth is not threatened by the occasional problem, failure or setback.
And, I choose to hang around with positive, not negative people.
I’m a big fan of Mark Twain. One of my favorite quotes of his gets at the heart of surrounding yourself with positive people and jettisoning the negative people in your life…
“Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the really great make you feel that you, too, can become great.”
These are the kind of people Paulette calls dream killers. Negative people are a drag on your goals and your ambitions. They are quick to tell you what you can’t do, offer little encouragement, and hate to see you prove them wrong by succeeding.
Hold these kinds of people at arm’s length. Don’t spend time with them. Instead, invest in friendships with positive, upbeat people; the kind of people who not only don’t belittle your ambitions, but do what they can to help you make them a reality.
Cynics are negative people. They are also dangerous, because they are seductive. They always have something witty to say about others – usually others’ shortcomings. At first, they seem to be funny and amusing. But spend time with cynics, and you’ll find that they have little joy in life except in pointing out and reveling in others’ problems and failures.
Create a dream killer free life. Don’t let negative people, dream killers, into your life. Hold them at arm’s length. In my career success coach talks, I tell people…
“Allowing a few dream killers to make themselves at home in your life is dangerous. Their poison will quickly infect you. Dream killers try to clone themselves. Spend too much time with them and you run the risk of becoming one yourself.”
The common sense career success coach point here is clear. Successful, self-confident people don’t let dream killers into their lives. They follow the career advice in Tweet 50 in Success Tweets. “Jettison the negative people in your life. They are energy black holes. They will suck you dry, but only if you let them.” Avoid dream killers and cynics. They are jealous and petty, unhappy when others succeed. They will only drag you down. Make a conscious choice to spend time with positive, optimistic people. Avoid the negative pessimistic dream killers and you’ll be on the road to life and career success.
That’s my career advice when it comes to dream killers. What do you think? How do you keep dream killers out of your life? Please take a few minutes to leave a comment sharing your thoughts with us. As always, thanks for reading my daily musings on life and career success.